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Writing Good Sentences

Great Secrets Free -- The secret to writing good sentences is to

1. tell the reader something new or important; if the sentence sounds obvious, or is an idea that we already know (such as “Crime is bad and must be stopped.”) then do NOT write it;
   
   
2. include only necessary words; delete all others;
   
   
3. write precise words that carry specific information (avoid words such as “things” and “stuff”);
   
   
4. do NOT bore the reader with a monotonous (choppy) rhythm of similar sentences; vary sentence structure.

The Basics for Revising Sentences

Spelling! Also look for confused use of their/there.

Fix basic punctuation: Common fixes:

1. insert commas after introductory phrases
   
   
2. delete commas separating nouns from verbs
   
   
3. avoid semicolons (;) unless you know their rules
   
   
4. use double quotation marks around exact quotations
   
   
5. end questions with question marks.

Read aloud to detect awkwardness! Read slowly with pen in hand. Mark areas where you slowed, stumbled, or paused, because those areas may need fixing. Your ear may know what your eye has missed.

Many awkward sentences are “mixed constructions.” Mixed constructions are pieces of good sentences that are badly mixed in one sentence -- like walking out of the house in mismatched pants and shirt, each piece is fine by itself, but the match does not work. These are found when you read the sentence and suddenly get the feeling that the sentence “goes wrong.” How to find and fix:

1. Draw a line where the sentence “seems” to go wrong
   
   
2. keep the best part, delete the other, and finish the idea.

Example:

Mixed Construction: For most people who have cataracts increase their danger from being blinded by glare from headlights while driving at night.

The sentence seems to “go wrong” after the word “cataracts.” Keep that part, and edit the rest:

Revised: For most people who have cataracts, driving at night is dangerous because of the glare from headlights.

Many mixed construction use the words “is when/is where” and “reason....is because” (these are not accepted in formal English, and they are also wordy). Example:

Mixed Construction: Anorexia is where people, believing they are too fat, diet to the point of starvation.

Anorexia is a disease, not a place:

Revised: Anorexia is a disease that makes sufferers believe they are so heavy that they may diet to the point of starvation.

Fix the Major Syntax Errors

Repair sentence fragments often by combining them with the next or previous sentence, and at other times by adding a noun or verb to complete the sentence.

Fix run-on sentences by using a period or a comma and conjunction:

“Gestures are used as communication by everyone they are essential for the hearing-impaired”

should be

“Gestures used as communication for everyone, but they are essential for the hearing-impaired.” Or make into two independent sentences.

Repair comma splices: Use a period to separate independent clauses, or use a comma and conjunction:

“I waited in the rain, somebody told me I had missed the bus.”

should be

“I waited in the rain, and somebody told me I had missed the bus.” Or: “I waited in the rain. Somebody told me I had missed the bus.”

Avoid Wordy Sentences -- Say the same idea in fewer words. Do not repeat the same ideas after you already said them.

1. edit wordy phrases:
   
   “As a matter of fact” = in fact; “Among the deceased” = dead.
   
   
2. change phrases to single words:
   
   “In spite of the fact that” = because. “At the present time” = now.
   
   
3. Avoid redundant words:
   
   “Cooperate together” = cooperate. “Very important” = important. “Tired and not energetic” = tired.

Choose Great Words

Replace general words with specific words.

1. Avoid vague words such as “things,” “stuff,” etc. Then,
   
   
2. use specific word. For example: the verb “move” is general and says little. Use a specific word to write vividly! Here, try: walk, sprint, creep, limp, leap, drag, trot, stroll, etc.

Use extremely precise words. For example, you might use the word “skinny” when you really mean “slender” because “skinny” can have a negative meaning (i.e., skinny = too slender, sick looking, etc.).

Avoid slang (words you tend to use only among people in your age-group and social group). “Gross me out” = disgusts me. “Hanging around” = waiting. Choose a level of formality for your intended audience. In analytical writing the tone should be formal. Also, avoid offensive slang: sexist, racist, and ethnophobic terms.

Replace clichés, which are dull, old, common phrases. Some common clichés: blind as a bat, light as a feather, as loud as thunder, busy as a bee, white as a ghost. Many others exist. Try a creative way to say the same idea.

Edit Verbs and Verb Phrases

Select strong verbs. Strengthen the verb by

1. reduction: “make an estimate” = estimate.
   
   
2. avoiding “to be” verbs (is, are, as, were). “to be” verbs coupled with other verbs generate excess: "is responsible for monitoring" could be "monitors." (see also “use active verbs.”)

Write with active verbs (active voice). The “is/are/was /were” verbs (the verb “to be”) used with the preposition “by” means that the usage is passive: the subject of the sentence is pushed to the end or missing. Move the doer of the sentence up front, then use a single strong verb. “The books were discounted by the manager” should be “The manager discounted the books.”

Avoid false subjects

Sentences beginning with “There is/are/was/were” or “It is/was” have false subjects. Use the real subject.

“There is a measuring meter in the storeroom”

should be

"The measuring meter is in the storeroom."

Fix dangling and misplaced modifiers:

1. by moving modifying phrases closer to the words they modify. “Running swiftly, the baby who fell from the window was caught by the pedestrian” [the baby was running?] should be: “Running swiftly, the pedestrian caught the baby who fell from the window.”); [note that we fixed a passive verb!]
   
   
2. or by inserting a noun if the modifying phrase has no noun to modify. “Being a good businessperson, the books were discounted for the disappointed customer.” [books discounted themselves?] = “Being a good businessperson, the store manager discounted the books for the disappointed customer.”

Rewrite monotonous sentences

Try using various sentence lengths and sentence structures. Use a mixture of simple sentences, longer sentences, compound sentences, sentences with dependent clauses, and others.

Example:

“Then I stepped on the gas pedal. The car accelerated to 85 mph. A car in front of me suddenly cut in. I crashed into him.” ......... Boring!

Revised:

“When I accelerated to 85 mph [dependent clause], a car suddenly swerved in to my lane. I hurled into the steering wheel [simple sentence]. Tires screamed, and the world spun around me [compound sentence].”